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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22922548">Your Words, They Keep Me Fighting</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/messedup/pseuds/messedup'>messedup</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EastEnders (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aftermath of the Kidnapping, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, death mention</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 06:01:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,118</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22922548</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/messedup/pseuds/messedup</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Callum gets his phone back and finds all the messages Ben has left him during the kidnapping.</p><p>Based on a post by the brilliant @ballumory on tumblr!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>162</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Im not taking any credit for anything besides the mistakes in this as the idea is all down to Ellie! So please go to check out her blog @ballumory on tumblr and tell her how amazing she is &lt;3</p><p>Link to her post: https://ballumory.tumblr.com/post/611105595642314752/if-i-had-the-talent-id-write-a-fic-because-now</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Callum kicked himself for being so stupid. The police had come round earlier to inform him of the state of investigations. They had searched the warehouse for evidence right away and had found Callum´s phone somewhere in the mess of things, enough proof on it to charge Keanu. Yeah, the display was broken and the battery had run out, but if Callum had just found it earlier he might have been able to call for help, bringing an end to all the pain and fear he as well as Ben had been going through the past week.</p><p>Stroking one finger over the crack, Callum stared at the black screen for a long minute. He sighed. There wasn´t anything he could do about that now. What´s done was done. Pressing the button on the side, the display lit up. Callum didn´t even know if he wanted to see them, still he opened his messages. He scrolled through a dozen texts from Stuart, asking where he was and why he wasn´t answering his phone. More similar messages were there from Jay, some even from Lola. What he certainly wasn´t prepared for were the endless amount of texts from Ben.</p><p>He scrolled up to the first unread message, tears building in his eyes as he read it.</p><p><i> I´m gonna get you out of there, hold on. </i> It was quickly followed by a second one. <i> I´m sorry. </i></p><p>Callum´s heart clenched. He knew Ben well enough to understand how much his boyfriend had suffered under his own guilt. With everything he had done to protect him, the way he had tried to do what was best for him – pushing him away, even if he hurt himself in the process just to keep him safe, only for Callum to get hurt anyway.</p><p>Blinking the burning tears in his eyes away  to clear his view again, he scrolled down further. There were all kinds of messages. Threats towards Keanu all throughout the first day, late night apologies filled with more guilt that made Callum want to get up and find Ben, wrap his arms around him and never let go. There were even some jokey messages in between, because – of course, this was Ben after all. They were however always followed by another text or two within the hour. <i> I miss you so much it hurts. </i> and <i> Soon, I promise. </i></p><p>When Ben had finally stormed into the warehouse nine days ago, finding him laying there half frozen to death and pressing their foreheads together after frantically scanning his body for injuries, he had told him. He had repeated it over and over again. How much he´d missed him. How much he loved him. Callum counted three more texts. </p><p>
  <i> I´m sorry I didn´t tell you before. I love you. </i>
</p><p>
  <i> I should have said it when I had the chance. I wish you knew how much I love you. </i>
</p><p>
  <i> I´m in love with you. Please come back. </i>
</p><p>The tears were streaming down his face when he read the last few messages. They had gotten more and more desperate as time had went on and Callum couldn't stop himself from breaking down when the last three texts appeared before him.</p><p>
  <i> Please, be okay. </i>
</p><p>
  <i> I really need you to be okay.</i>
</p><p>
  <i> I don´t know what to do without you.</i>
</p><p>Callum stared at the phone, even though the letters were blurred through his tears. He wiped roughly over his face, letting out a sob.</p><p>Before he thought too much about it, he began typing. One after another, he answered every single message. </p><p>
  <i> It wasn´t your fault. </i>
</p><p>
  <i> The thought of you kept me going. </i>
</p><p>
  <i> Thank you for not giving up on me.</i>
</p><p>
  <i> I love you too. So much.</i>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading! Come talk to me on tumblr @stillamess22 if you like :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>So, this wasn´t planned. I only wrote a little thing for Ellie´s prompt because it inspired me so much, but then a very sweet anon came into my asks to ask me for more. So, here we are :) It´s very short, but I hope you enjoy!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Callum was halfway through typing out the answering messages when he heard keys rustling and then thundering footsteps coming up the stairs. He had long given up on trying to wipe his tears away, new ones continuously making their way down his cheeks. But as he looked up he was met with similarly teary eyes. Ben came to a halt two steps into the flat, staring at him, lost for words. In his hand his phone was still switched on. </p><p>“Cal.”, he finally brought out around a gasp and Callum was up on his feet immediately. It only took a second and two big strides and his arms were around Ben, the smaller man completely engulfed by his embrace. </p><p>“Ben!”, Callum said breathlessly in response, his words muffled in the hug. “Ben.” And then there was silence, both rendered speechless by their overwhelming emotions. Callum didn’t know how long it held on for. Time seemed to stand still as they clung to each other, only the sound of their heavy breaths proving otherwise.</p><p>It was Callum who finally broke the silence, facing Ben so he could read his lips.</p><p>“I just wanna hold you. That was one of the messages.” His voice was raspy. Ben looked at him, for some reason understanding every word perfectly. He took in a shaky breath, nodded. “That’s all I could think about. Wishing to be held by you.”, he continued, his confession quiet, not more than a whisper as he pressed their foreheads together. Not that it made any difference to Ben, he saw what his boyfriend was saying just as clearly. </p><p>Ben pulled back slightly - only enough to gently take his hand. “Come on, then.”, he whispered back, leading him towards the bedroom. They laid down, Callum´s face buried in Ben´s neck, breathing him in. He was overly aware of the warmth Ben seemed to radiate. </p><p>When they both had calmed down a little bit, Callum craned his neck to look at Ben once more. He scanned his face. Every little detail was just as he had remembered it, pictured it so many times when he had closed his eyes in the warehouse, when he had been trying to forget where he was.</p><p>Meeting Ben´s eyes, Callum slowly leaned into his boyfriend, their chest pressing together as he gently kissed him. The kiss wasn´t deep or passionate, but for some reason it felt more intense than most other kisses they had ever shared before. Because Callum couldn´t believe he had almost lost this. 

Lost him.</p><p>They were in their own little bubble, a space where nothing mattered besides the other and where time was a foreign concept. Tracing fingertips over jaws, eyebrows, collarbones – bruises. Little huffs of air between kisses. And Callum answering more of the text messages that he remembered in 
a hushed voice between them, wiping the tears away that his words were eliciting.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you so much for reading! I would love to hear what you thought :) You can also come talk to me on tumblr @stillamess22 if you like!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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